Keep a separate ledger for the “marriage for elders” — don’t mix it with your own accounts
The benefits the elders gain — peace of mind, prestige, and relief from matchmaking pressure — are real. But they won’t automatically translate into health benefits or better relationship quality for you. Meanwhile, the time investment, financial costs, and exit costs all fall on you alone. By drawing two columns and assigning each benefit to its rightful owner, you can instantly see whether this arrangement is worth it for you.
No cost at all. Just draw two columns on paper. One column…
The elders truly receive tangible benefits from this marriage. Yet those benefits do not automatically become…
No cost at all. Just draw two columns on paper. One column lists the benefits that belong to you; the earlier sections in this chapter help you calculate those. The other column lists benefits that belong to the elders: peace of mind, social prestige, and an end to matchmaking pressure. The tricky part is keeping the elders’ column separate and not merging it into yours.
The elders truly receive tangible benefits from this marriage. Yet those benefits do not automatically become health advantages (see Section 8) or improvements in relationship quality (see Section 15) for you. All time costs (Section 9), monetary expenses (Sections 10–12), and exit costs (Section 16) are borne entirely by you. Once you keep separate accounts, it becomes obvious at a glance whether “marrying as a duty” offers any real value — no outside judgment is needed.
作者经验，方法类建议；数据部分见本节前面各条
This section does not make a final judgment for you; the elders’ benefits can indeed be substantial. A fill‑in worksheet is available at docs/结婚划不划算.md.