This section breaks down the question “Is marriage a good financial decision?” into several separate calculations. These calculations cover money, time, health, legal risks, and relationship quality. For each calculation we use only figures with verifiable sources — primarily official statistics or meta-analyses that combine data from multiple studies. No moral judgments are made here, nor are any conclusions drawn on your behalf. The health calculations rely on mortality risks, the time calculations use average daily minutes, and the legal calculations follow the wording of relevant statutes. These three types of calculations are not converted into one another. For more details on this breakdown method, the checklist of factors to consider, and common misconceptions, please refer to [docs/结婚划不划算.md](../../docs/research/结婚划不划算.md).
English text comes from the independent translation maintained by dlgrv. New entries without a translation appear in Chinese. The author's Chinese original is authoritative for the latest content. Translation snapshot: dlgrv/HowToLiveBetter · 11818c6
Getting to know more people rather than fixating on just one: You can’t predict compatibility before meeting someone
Two speed-dating studies asked participants to fill out over 100 questionnaires about their preferences in a partner before any meetings took place. These questionnaires could only reveal how likely someone is to like others in general, and how popular they tend to be — they couldn’t predict whether two specific people would hit it off. Compatibility can only be determined by meeting in person. Therefore, it’s far more worthwhile to get to know multiple people than to bet everything on just one.
Cost
No cost at all. Spend time getting to know several people…
Benefit
In both speed-dating studies, participants completed more than 100 self-report questionnaires related to partn…
02Evidence A
Stop after a clear refusal — continued pursuit is a public order violation, not “sincerity”
If someone has clearly refused you, and you still send messages or wait for them, as of January 2026 this constitutes a violation of public order laws. Offenders may be detained for up to 5 days or fined up to 1000 yuan. For more serious cases, detention ranges from 5 to 10 days. Police can also issue orders barring the offender from contacting the other person; any violation of such orders results in an additional 5–10 days of detention.
Cost
No cost at all, neither financial nor time-related. The ha…
Benefit
The Public Security Administration Punishment Law, effective 1 January 2026, explicitly lists persistent pursu…
03Evidence B
Judging whether someone is interested: focus on actions, not “signals” — who initiates, plans, and follows up
In one study, 52 pairs of strangers of opposite genders chatted for about 10 minutes, then tried to determine whether each other was flirting. The results showed they were fairly accurate at spotting when no flirting was occurring, but struggled to identify actual flirting. A second study with 261 participants reached the same conclusion after watching short videos. Therefore, rather than guessing based on expressions or tone, pay attention to actions: who initiates contact, who schedules future meetings, and whether they follow up when you don’t make the first move.
Cost
This requires no money or much time. The real challenge is…
Benefit
Two studies examined how accurately people can recognize flirting. The first involved 52 unrelated male-female…
04Evidence A
Whether a relationship is good or not depends mainly on how you feel within it, not on your partner’s traits.
An analysis of data from 29 laboratories and 43 longitudinal studies on couples shows that the strongest predictor of relationship quality is how each partner personally feels about the relationship — not their objective traits. Factors such as perceived partner commitment, appreciation, sexual satisfaction, and frequency of conflict all play a role. Self-reported feelings are two to four times more predictive than what partners report about each other. However, no questionnaire can reliably predict whether a relationship will improve or deteriorate over time.
Cost
There is no monetary cost, nor does it require much time.…
Benefit
Machine learning applied to data from 29 laboratories and 43 longitudinal studies tracking the same couples ov…
05Evidence B
To build closeness, have two people take turns answering a series of progressively deeper questions — no script needed
Pair two strangers up and have them take turns answering 36 questions grouped into three levels of depth. After 45 minutes, their sense of closeness is noticeably higher than in a control group that simply chatted for the same amount of time. What drives this effect is the act of taking turns to share honest thoughts at increasing levels of depth, not any pre-planned conversational script. Keep in mind this measure only captures short-term closeness, and does not guarantee the development of a long-term relationship.
Cost
No cost involved. It takes 45 minutes to complete.
Benefit
This method pairs two unfamiliar people to answer 36 questions in total, arranged in three tiers of increasing…
06Evidence B
Long-distance relationships aren’t worse than local ones — the real challenge comes in the first three months after moving in together
Long-distance relationships actually tend to be more stable while the couple remains apart, since seeing each other infrequently allows each person to idealize the other. The real difficulty emerges only after they move in together. Data shows that roughly half of long-distance couples eventually transition to living locally, while the other half end their relationship while still apart. Among those who reunite, one-third break up within three months of moving together.
Cost
There are travel expenses to consider, plus the time spent…
Benefit
Two separate studies reach the same conclusion: long-distance relationships are generally more stable than loc…
07Evidence A
Check registration statistics before listening to elders: what do “marriage rate” and “divorce rate” actually mean?
In 2024, 6.106 million couples got married nationwide, a 20.5% drop from the previous year. Meanwhile, 3.513 million divorces were finalized. The oft‑quoted claim that “more than half of marriages end in divorce” comes from dividing these two numbers, yielding roughly 57.5%. The exact figures are 351.3 divorces and 610.6 marriages for that year. However, the two groups of people are not the same, so this figure cannot be interpreted as “half of all marriages end in divorce.” The report also lists a marriage rate of 4.3‰ and a divorce rate of 2.5‰; both use the total population as the denominator, not just married individuals.
Cost
None. It takes just a few minutes to read the section on m…
Benefit
In 2024, 6.106 million marriages were legally registered, representing a 20.5% decrease from 2023;
08Evidence A（争议）
Accounting for health benefits while adjusting for observational data
Over a given period, married people have a roughly 12% lower chance of dying compared to unmarried individuals, while those who have never married face a roughly 24% higher risk. However, this merely shows a correlation between marital status and mortality; it does not prove that marriage directly causes longer life. People who are healthier, wealthier, and more socially active are both more likely to marry and more likely to live longer. These statistics are primarily drawn from European and North American populations, so they can only serve as rough benchmarks for China.
Cost
There is no cost in money or time. Just keep in mind that…
Benefit
One meta-analysis of older adults pooled results from multiple studies, covering 53 comparisons and over 250,0…
09Evidence A
Discussing labor division before marriage helps clarify unpaid work responsibilities
According to the 2024 National Time Use Survey, men spend an average of 1 hour and 52 minutes per day on unpaid activities such as housework and caring for family, while women spend 3 hours and 29 minutes. Since the survey does not break down data by marital status, there are no official figures on how much housework increases after marriage; the gender gap observed can only serve as an upper limit. In reality, couples can negotiate a different division of labor altogether before getting married.
Cost
There is no monetary cost. Spend one or two hours before m…
Benefit
The 2024 National Time Use Survey tracks unpaid labor, which includes housework and family care. On average, p…
10Evidence A
First check the default legal rules regarding money and property, then decide whether to make a written agreement
Without a written agreement, the law presumes that wages, bonuses, business profits, investment returns, inheritances, and gifts received after marriage belong to both spouses jointly. Only property owned before marriage, or items explicitly designated in a will or gift contract as belonging to one person, remain personal property. Couples may choose to agree in writing that certain assets stay separate; such an agreement becomes legally binding. A spouse who has devoted more time to raising children or caring for elderly relatives may request compensation during divorce proceedings.
Cost
There is no cost involved. Simply read the relevant articl…
Benefit
By default, all earnings from employment, business activities, intellectual property, as well as inheritances…
11Evidence A
When parents pay for a house, they should clearly state whether it’s a loan or a gift at the time of transfer
When parents pay for a house before marriage, the money is generally considered a gift solely to their own child. After marriage, without any written agreement, it’s treated as joint marital property. Starting February 2025, if one set of parents fully funds a house during marriage but the gift agreement doesn’t specify it’s only for their child, a court may award the house to that child upon divorce and decide whether to compensate the other spouse. To treat it as a loan, all terms must be clearly documented and signed on the same day.
Cost
There is no cost involved. On the day of payment, write a…
Benefit
Payments made by parents before marriage for a house are typically viewed as gifts to just one child, unless t…
12Evidence A
Money borrowed by a spouse in a large amount — if you didn’t sign or later acknowledge it, it doesn’t automatically become your debt
Money borrowed by a spouse behind your back generally won’t become your joint debt, provided it clearly exceeds normal household expenses and you neither signed any documents nor later acknowledged the debt. Creditors must prove the money was used for shared household needs or joint business activities. However, if the borrowed funds actually helped purchase a house that both of you now live in or own together, creditors can usually prove it served a shared purpose.
Cost
No cost at all. Never sign “joint borrower” or “guarantor”…
Benefit
Debt is considered a joint marital obligation in several situations: first, when both spouses sign the loan ag…
13Evidence A
Obtaining a marriage certificate requires only an ID card and a signed declaration — no household register needed, no fees, and issuance is immediate.
Starting May 2025, getting a marriage certificate requires only two items: your ID card and a signed declaration stating that you have no spouse and share no direct or indirect blood relations within three generations with your partner. There’s no need to bring a household register, nor to go back to one’s place of hukou registration. The registration itself is completely free, and if all conditions are met, the certificate is issued on the spot.
Cost
There are no fees involved. Both parties must be present i…
Benefit
The revised Marriage Registration Regulations, effective May 10, 2025, streamlined documentation requirements…
14Evidence B
Undergoing a premarital medical checkup: if you have a serious illness, you must disclose it to your partner before marriage registration
If a person has a serious illness and fails to disclose it truthfully to their future spouse before marriage registration, the other partner may file a lawsuit to have the marriage annulled. This legal action must be taken within one year of learning about the condition. Since 2003, a premarital medical checkup has no longer been a mandatory prerequisite for marriage registration; participation remains entirely voluntary. Exact costs and which tests are performed vary by local policies, but the whole procedure typically requires half a day.
Cost
It’s free. During an argument, stick to the current issue—…
Benefit
The legal consequences of concealing a serious illness are clearly defined. Current marriage registration regu…
15Evidence B（争议）
Emotional value isn’t just about “whether it exists” — it’s about relationship quality
A meta-analysis of 126 studies involving over 72,000 participants shows that higher marriage quality correlates with better health. However, this link is quite weak — its magnitude is comparable to the effect of healthy behaviors like proper diet. What’s useful here is that relationship quality should be assessed through actual interactions rather than rigid criteria lists. There’s no direct data comparing outcomes for people in poor marriages versus those who remain unmarried.
Cost
No money required. Use a few conflicts and several months…
Benefit
This same meta-analysis indicates that better marital quality leads to improved health outcomes, with effect s…
16Evidence A
Calculating the cost of walking away: Divorce by mutual agreement has a 30-day cooling-off period; divorce via litigation has strict legal conditions.
Divorce by mutual agreement isn’t finalized the moment the paperwork is signed. After filing the application, either spouse can withdraw it within 30 days. Once that period ends, both parties must appear in person within another 30 days to obtain the divorce certificate; failure to do so counts as a withdrawal. If one spouse refuses, the only option is to pursue divorce through court. Courts first attempt mediation; only when circumstances such as domestic violence, bigamy, or two years of separation exist, and mediation fails, will a divorce be granted.
Cost
There is no monetary cost. Still, it’s worth spending some…
Benefit
Divorce by mutual agreement requires a written agreement and joint application to the marriage registry (Artic…
17Evidence C
Keep a separate ledger for the “marriage for elders” — don’t mix it with your own accounts
The benefits the elders gain — peace of mind, prestige, and relief from matchmaking pressure — are real. But they won’t automatically translate into health benefits or better relationship quality for you. Meanwhile, the time investment, financial costs, and exit costs all fall on you alone. By drawing two columns and assigning each benefit to its rightful owner, you can instantly see whether this arrangement is worth it for you.
Cost
No cost at all. Just draw two columns on paper. One column…
Benefit
The elders truly receive tangible benefits from this marriage. Yet those benefits do not automatically become…
18Evidence B
Treating relationship quality as a health factor: focus arguments on issues, not people; avoid insults or sarcasm
Couples with a healthier relationship tend to enjoy better physical health and a lower risk of death. This link is fairly weak, roughly comparable to the impact of diet on health. In one experiment, couples who maintained high levels of hostility during arguments saw only 60% of the rate of healing for small lab-made wounds compared to couples who stayed calm.
Cost
No cost at all. During an argument, stick to the current i…
Benefit
This conclusion comes from a meta-analysis of 126 separate studies involving over 72,000 participants. Higher…