Losing a relative, being told of a serious illness, losing a job, or a divorce. In the research these events share a finding: what goes wrong is not only the mood, but the body. The stretch of highest risk sits in the first weeks through the first year. This section does not explain how to "get over it." It only says which things someone has to watch during this stretch, which decisions have to be put off, and when to go and register at a clinic. Most items are scored on the chance of death. The items that talk about spending and about benefits are scored on money. They are: do not start by paying for grief counseling (item 9), call 12356 and register at a mental-health clinic (item 11), push irreversible big decisions back (item 12), and do not treat death as a way to pay a debt (item 13). These kinds of figures are not converted into each other. If there is no relative and no friend to turn to, how "find someone to watch" actually gets done is in item 6. If you yourself went through a traffic crash, an assault, or a disaster and the nightmares and flashbacks are still there, see item 14 (trauma-focused psychological treatment). The paperwork at the time a relative dies, the body, and the money to collect are in section 25. Guardianship and a will for an elder while alive are in section 17. What you can receive after losing a job is in section 7. Exercise and daylight when mood is low are in section 3 and section 22. If suicidal thoughts appear, call 12356 first; see section 1, item 25. The time scale of the thoughts is in section 1, item 32. Lasting harm after a person is brought back is in section 1, item 33. This section does not repeat any of that.
English, Russian and Spanish use dlgrv’s unofficial translations. Newly revised entries appear in the Chinese original until a checked translation is available. The author’s latest Chinese text is authoritative. Translation revision: dlgrv/HowToLiveBetter · b25fa8a
In the first day after someone important dies, heart attack incidence is 21.1 times baseline, then falls each day. Among people aged 60–89, 0.16% had a heart attack or stroke within 30 days after a partner died, versus 0.08% of comparable people not bereaved. Chest pressure or pain, breathlessness or weakness on one side: call 120 immediately.
Cost
There is no cost involved. Just avoid being alone during t…
Benefit
Both extra-case estimates below refer to the first week after bereavement. 1985 patients with an acute heart a…
In the first week after receiving a cancer diagnosis, the risk of suicide is roughly 12.6 times higher than among people without a diagnosis, while the risk of dying from cardiovascular disease is about 5.6 times higher. By the end of the first year this drops to roughly 3.1 times; the effect is especially pronounced for harder‑to‑treat cancers. The greatest risk exists during those first few days, after which it falls quickly. Therefore, bring a companion when picking up the results and avoid being alone at home. Decisions such as quitting your job or selling your house can wait until your next appointment.
Cost
No cost at all. Simply arrange for someone to accompany yo…
Benefit
Data from Sweden’s national registers tracked over 6.07 million people (6,073,240 individuals) from 1991 to 20…
The comparison is with employed people. People who have lost a job have a subsequent mortality risk about 60% higher than people still in work. The gap is clearer for men, and for people who are not old, and it is highest in the first 10 years. Once smoking and drinking are taken out, the rise is about a quarter smaller, and that part is in your own hands. Register as unemployed first, and claim the unemployment insurance benefit.
Cost
There’s no expense involved. First, register as unemployed…
Benefit
Data from 42 studies involving over 20 million participants and 235 mortality risk estimates show that, after…
Within five years after losing a spouse to suicide, men are about 80% more likely to develop a mental disorder compared to the general population, while women are about 70% more likely. Compared to those whose spouses died from other causes, this risk is still 70% to 100% higher. Such bereaved individuals also tend to feel isolated and ashamed. This is precisely why they should actively seek help rather than waiting for things to get better on their own.
Cost
Calling 12356 is free of charge. Visiting a doctor and att…
Benefit
The ratios reported here are incidence rate ratios (IRR). A nationwide Danish registry tracked 6.7 million adu…
During the first 6 months after losing a spouse, mortality risk was about 40% higher than without bereavement; after 6 months, about 15% higher. The increase was larger in men. One review found no clear difference in women, another about 15% higher risk. Assign medicines, meals and follow-up to a specific helper instead of relying on memory.
Cost
No expense at all. Simply choose someone — a child, siblin…
Benefit
Data from 15 prospective studies that followed a total of 2,263,888 participants show that within six months o…
With no family or friends, cover two needs: someone discovering an emergency, and regular medicines and meals. Use lists and alarms, not memory. For discovery, arrange a neighbor’s spare key, a phone emergency contact and the community visiting-care list. That list covers older adults living alone or in empty-nest households; ask the residents’ committee.
Cost
No money is required. The hard part is mustering the coura…
Benefit
44573 outpatients, each with a risk or a history of atherothrombosis (plaque in the vessels, the kind of troub…
A child who loses a father or a mother before 18 later dies at a rate about 50% higher than a child who did not go through that. If the parent died by accident or by suicide, it is about 80% higher. If the parent died of illness, it is about 30% higher. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends telling the child what happened, truthfully, and supporting the child in attending the funeral and the farewell.
Cost
There is no monetary cost. The difficulty lies in the fact…
Benefit
Everyone born in Denmark from 1968 to 2008, and everyone born in Sweden from 1973 to 2006, was counted in. Add…
About 1 in 10 bereaved adults gets stuck. After more than half a year they still miss the person so much that they cannot eat, cannot go to work, and cannot look after a child. They feel numb, and life seems to have no point. This is not a lack of strength. It has diagnostic criteria, and it has a treatment made for it. Targeted treatment works in 51% of cases, ordinary psychotherapy in 28%, and the targeted treatment also starts to work sooner.
Cost
This includes registration fees and treatment costs. Treat…
Benefit
Fourteen studies involving adults whose loved ones died of non‑violent causes and who had not previously sough…
Offering psychological counseling to every bereaved person right after their loss yields little benefit at first, and over time those benefits disappear entirely. The reason is that most people without any intervention would have recovered on their own anyway. However, for those who clearly struggle to adapt, such counseling works just as well as treatment for other mental health issues. So the proper sequence is: first check whether your grief fits the criteria in item 8 (meaning it’s stuck and warrants a visit to a psychiatrist); only if it does should you spend the money on counseling.
Cost
No cost at all;
Benefit
Data from 61 comparative studies confirm this pattern. General psychological intervention for all bereaved ind…
People who are separated or divorced have a clearly higher chance of dying early than people who are still married. The rise is larger for men, and for people who are younger. This is not necessarily caused by the divorce. People who divorce may already have been different in health and in income. What you can hold yourself is this: do not let yibao lapse, and do not get through it on tobacco and alcohol.
Cost
Zero. Simply keep your yibao active and quit drinking. The…
Benefit
Data from 32 longitudinal studies involving over 6.5 million participants, 160,000 deaths, and more than 755,0…
If you need someone to talk to, dial 12356 — this is the national mental health helpline, and it’s completely free. Minors and teenagers can call 12355, the dedicated youth support service. If you need professional medical care, you can book an appointment at a psychiatry, psychology, or clinical psychology clinic. Community grid workers and social workers are also expected to proactively identify people facing family issues, job loss, or school dropout.
Cost
No cost involved. Both hotlines are free to call. Psycholo…
Benefit
A 2026 plan jointly issued by 25 government departments including the National Health Commission calls for imp…
In this stretch your judgment of every "opportunity" is at its worst. In an experiment, sad people were willing to take a bit over 10% less money, and up to a bit over 30% less, so they would not have to wait 3 months. Anything larger than a month of income, or anything that would cost a lot to undo, gets pushed back for 3 months. Tell it first to a person who has no stake in the matter. Do not decide the same day.
Cost
There is no monetary cost — you simply delay decisions, wh…
Benefit
Avoid making a property disposal you cannot undo, in the stretch just after the blow, when judgment is at its…
If you commit suicide within two years of buying a life insurance policy, the insurer won’t pay out any benefits — only the cash value of the policy is returned. Workplace injuries also won’t be recognized, so no compensation is paid for a work-related death. Any outstanding debts are deducted from your estate first, leaving only the remainder for your family. They also have to bear the health consequences described in Section 4 of this chapter (bereavement due to suicide or violent death). A spouse remains personally liable for joint marital debts.
Cost
There is no expense involved;
Benefit
Article 44 of the Insurance Law governs contracts where death is the condition for payout. Within two years of…
After a serious event, nightmares and being easily startled in the first weeks are common, and most people ease on their own. If it is still severe after a month, it may be post-traumatic stress disorder, and psychological treatment aimed at the trauma has a clear effect. Pulling someone, right after the event, to tell the whole course once does not prevent this illness. In a trial, the people who had it done were worse 3 years later.
Cost
A registration fee plus a treatment fee, usually 8 to 12 s…
Benefit
The National Health Commission's Standard for the Diagnosis and Treatment of Mental Disorders (2020 edition) s…
