Losing a loved one, receiving a serious diagnosis, losing a job, or going through a divorce — these events share one thing in common: they affect not only a person’s mood but also their physical health. The period of highest risk spans from the first few weeks up to the first year. This section does not discuss how to “get over it.” Instead, it outlines which matters need close attention, which decisions should be postponed, and when to seek medical help. Most figures here refer to the risk of death. The four items dealing with costs and benefits relate to money: avoid rushing into grief counseling right away (item 9), call 12356 and schedule a mental health appointment (item 11), postpone any irreversible major decisions (item 12), and never treat death as a way to settle debts (item 13). These two sets of numbers are not interchangeable. For those without family or friends to rely on, item 6 explains how to arrange for someone to keep an eye on things. Details on funeral procedures, handling the body, and claiming benefits after a loved one’s death are covered in section 25. Information on guardianship and wills for elderly relatives appears in section 17. Section 7 describes unemployment benefits. Sections 3 and 22 discuss exercise and light exposure as ways to ease low mood. If suicidal thoughts arise, call 12356 first (see item 25 in section 1); the time frame for such thoughts is explained in item 32 of section 1, while lasting effects after recovery are described in item 33 of section 1. None of these topics are repeated here.
English text comes from the independent translation maintained by dlgrv. New entries without a translation appear in Chinese. The author's Chinese original is authoritative for the latest content. Translation snapshot: dlgrv/HowToLiveBetter · 11818c6
After a loved one passes, don’t stay alone for the first few days. Those with heart disease, high blood pressure, or diabetes should keep taking their medication. If you feel pressure or pain in the chest, call 120 right away.
In the first day after losing a loved one, the risk of a heart attack is about 21.1 times higher than normal, then it drops each day afterward. For people aged 60 to 89, the rate of heart attacks or strokes within 30 days of losing a spouse roughly doubles compared to the general population, then returns to normal after a month. Those already dealing with heart disease must not skip their medication. Chest pressure, shortness of breath, or weakness in one arm or leg are clear emergency signs — call 120 immediately.
Cost
There is no cost involved. Just avoid being alone during t…
Benefit
This conclusion comes from a study of 1,985 acute heart attack patients, comparing their health status before…
02Evidence A
On the week you receive a cancer diagnosis, don’t go alone to pick up the results — postpone non‑treatment decisions
In the first week after receiving a cancer diagnosis, the risk of suicide is roughly 12.6 times higher than among people without a diagnosis, while the risk of dying from cardiovascular disease is about 5.6 times higher. By the end of the first year this drops to roughly 3.1 times; the effect is especially pronounced for harder‑to‑treat cancers. The greatest risk exists during those first few days, after which it falls quickly. Therefore, bring a companion when picking up the results and avoid being alone at home. Decisions such as quitting your job or selling your house can wait until your next appointment.
Cost
No cost at all. Simply arrange for someone to accompany yo…
Benefit
Data from Sweden’s national registers tracked over 6.07 million people (6,073,240 individuals) from 1991 to 20…
03Evidence A
After losing a job, it’s important to set a regular sleep schedule, keep yibao (basic medical insurance) active, and plan job searches methodically — don’t just stay at home all day.
People who are unemployed have a roughly 60% higher chance of dying in the years that follow compared to those still employed. This effect is stronger among younger men and peaks during the first decade after job loss. Some of this risk can be controlled: studies that also accounted for smoking and drinking showed a 25% smaller increase in mortality. Registering as unemployed and claiming benefits also ensures that employee medical insurance stays active (see Section 7).
Cost
There’s no expense involved. First, register as unemployed…
Benefit
Data from 42 studies involving over 20 million participants and 235 mortality risk estimates show that, after…
04Evidence A
People who lose a loved one to suicide, accident, or homicide should seek professional help rather than trying to cope alone
Within five years after losing a spouse to suicide, men are about 80% more likely to develop a mental disorder compared to the general population, while women are about 70% more likely. Compared to those whose spouses died from other causes, this risk is still 70% to 100% higher. Such bereaved individuals also tend to feel isolated and ashamed. This is precisely why they should actively seek help rather than waiting for things to get better on their own.
Cost
Calling 12356 is free of charge. Visiting a doctor and att…
Benefit
A nationwide Danish registry tracked 6.7 million adults from 1980 to 2014, totaling over 136 million person-ye…
05Evidence A
In the first six months after losing a spouse, assign one trusted person to oversee meals, sleep, medication for chronic conditions, and follow‑up appointments
Within the first six months after a spouse passes away, the risk of dying is roughly 40% higher than for people who haven’t lost a spouse. After six months it drops to about 15% higher. For men the increase is roughly 23%; for women the difference is so small it may well be a coincidence. This extra risk cannot be offset simply by staying positive. The practical step is to hand off medication, meals, and medical check‑ups to a specific person rather than relying on your own memory.
Cost
No expense at all. Simply choose someone — a child, siblin…
Benefit
Data from 15 studies that were registered beforehand and later tracked a total of 2,263,888 participants show…
06Evidence B
For those with no relatives or friends, replace “someone watching over you” with three simple things: a neighbor who can enter your home, a list of community outreach services, and emergency contacts saved on your phone.
When you have no family or friends, the phrase “finding someone to help” is essentially meaningless. In reality, it refers to two separate goals: first, ensuring that if something happens, someone will notice and intervene; second, making sure you take your medication and eat regularly on your own. To achieve the first goal, you need three things: leave a spare key with a neighbor, sign up for community outreach programs through the Civil Affairs Bureau, and set up reliable emergency contacts on your phone.
Cost
No expense at all. The hard part is simply reaching out —…
Benefit
This study tracked 44,573 outpatients diagnosed with atherosclerosis or at high risk for blood clots — conditi…
07Evidence B
After a parent dies, tell the child the truth, let him attend the funeral, and don’t send him to another environment
Children who lose a father or mother before age 18 have a mortality rate in early adulthood that is roughly 50% higher than those who have not experienced such a loss. If the death was due to unnatural causes such as accidents or suicide, the risk rises by about 80%. If it was due to illness or other natural causes, the risk is about 30% higher. This is not something a child simply forgets after a few days; the effects can last many years. What you can do is tell the truth, let him attend the funeral, keep him in school, and avoid sending him to relatives’ homes to “change his environment.”
Cost
There is no monetary cost. The difficulty lies in the fact…
Benefit
This data includes the entire populations born in Denmark from 1968 to 2008 and in Sweden from 1973 to 2006, p…
08Evidence A
Still stuck in grief after half a year, unable to move on — when to see a psychiatrist or clinical psychologist
Roughly 1 out of every 10 adults who lose a loved one gets stuck in prolonged grief: after more than six months they still miss the deceased so much they can’t eat, work, or care for their children. They feel numb and see no point in living. This isn’t a sign of personal weakness — it meets specific diagnostic criteria and has dedicated treatments. Targeted therapy achieves a success rate of 51%, while standard psychotherapy reaches only 28% and takes longer to show results.
Cost
This includes registration fees and treatment costs. Treat…
Benefit
Fourteen studies involving adults whose loved ones died of non‑violent causes and who had not previously sough…
09Evidence A
Don’t spend money on grief counseling right away — first check whether your grief is truly stuck (see the symptoms listed in item 8).
Offering psychological counseling to every bereaved person right after their loss yields little benefit at first, and over time those benefits disappear entirely. The reason is that most people without any intervention would have recovered on their own anyway. However, for those who clearly struggle to adapt, such counseling works just as well as treatment for other mental health issues. So the proper sequence is: first check whether your grief fits the criteria in item 8 (meaning it’s stuck and warrants a visit to a psychiatrist); only if it does should you spend the money on counseling.
Cost
No cost at all;
Benefit
Data from 61 comparative studies confirm this pattern. General psychological intervention for all bereaved ind…
10Evidence A
Don’t drop yibao or turn to alcohol after separating or divorcing
An analysis of 6.5 million people across 11 countries shows that separated or divorced individuals face a significantly higher risk of premature death than those still married. This effect is stronger among men and younger adults. The original text does not claim a direct causal link, as divorced people may already differ in health and income. Of the four proposed reasons, two are within personal control: maintaining yibao and regular health check‑ups, and avoiding reliance on tobacco and alcohol.
Cost
Zero. Simply keep your yibao active and quit drinking. The…
Benefit
Data from 32 longitudinal studies involving over 6.5 million participants, 160,000 deaths, and more than 755,0…
11Evidence B
Call 12356 for general support, 12355 for minors and teens; for medical care, book a psychology clinic appointment
If you need someone to talk to, dial 12356 — this is the national mental health helpline, and it’s completely free. Minors and teenagers can call 12355, the dedicated youth support service. If you need professional medical care, you can book an appointment at a psychiatry, psychology, or clinical psychology clinic. Community grid workers and social workers are also expected to proactively identify people facing family issues, job loss, or school dropout.
Cost
No cost involved. Both hotlines are free to call. Psycholo…
Benefit
A 2026 plan jointly issued by 25 government departments including the National Health Commission calls for imp…
12Evidence C
In the first three months after a tragedy, postpone any irreversible major decisions
During this period, your ability to judge what truly counts as an “opportunity” is at its weakest. People will approach you with offers — some claiming to let you contact the deceased, others promising to multiply your money, some urging you to quit your job and start anew elsewhere, and still others seeking a business partnership. Set a strict rule for yourself: any decision involving an amount greater than one month’s income, or any choice that would be costly to reverse, must be postponed for three months. First, discuss it with someone who has no personal stake in the matter; you simply need someone to listen so you won’t have to decide on the spot.
Cost
There is no monetary cost — you simply delay decisions, wh…
Benefit
This rule helps you avoid making irreversible financial moves when you’re still reeling from a loss and your j…
13Evidence A
Don’t treat death as a way to settle debts: life insurance won’t pay out for suicides within two years, workplace injuries won’t be recognized, and debts are still deducted from your estate first.
Life insurance policies that pay out upon death won’t cover suicides committed within two years of purchase. Only the cash value of the policy is returned. Workplace injuries are also not covered, so any benefits for death on the job are forfeited entirely. Debts don’t disappear with death; they’re deducted from your estate first, leaving your family with whatever remains. This creates a financial shortfall for them, plus the health consequences outlined in Section 4 (relatives of suicide victims face a 7–8 times higher risk of developing mental disorders within five years). The total amount of life insurance payouts typically reaches 100,000 yuan, which is why this benefit is classified as significant.
Cost
There’s no direct expense — you just need to run the numbe…
Benefit
Article 44 of the Insurance Law governs contracts where death is the condition for payout. Within two years of…